Some shorties

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I
am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you
are one of the changes."

At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us,
"Always try to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you make."

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing
his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I
hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for
the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces
without asking."

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

To err is human, but to really foul things up
requires a committee.

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering
and take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough
to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

God made man before woman so as to give him
time to think of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error