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<>An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out,"Crisco, Crisssssssco!"
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<>Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D".
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<>The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my husband."
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<>The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"
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<>The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public."
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<>"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"
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<>"Lard ass!"