A young Southern boy  goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through

the first semester, he has  foolishly squandered what money his parents

had given him for school. Then he  gets an idea. He calls his Redneck

father.

"Dad," he says," you won't  believe the wonders that modern

 education are coming up with! Why, they  actually have a program

 here that will teach Fido how to  talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in

that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says,  "I'll get him

into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the  $1000.

About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.

The boy  calls his father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father  asks.

"Awesome, dad, he?s! talking up a storm," he says, "but you just

won't believe this, they've had such good results with this program,

 

that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to

READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get

him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the  class."

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end  of the year, his father will find

out that the dog can neither talk nor  read. So he shoots the dog.

"Where's Fido? Ijust can't wait to see him talk and read  something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.

This morning,  when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living

room kicking back in the  recliner, reading the morning paper, like

he usually does."

Then he turned to  me and asked: "Is your daddy still cheating on

your mama and messing' around  with that cute little redhead next

door??

The father says, "I hope you  SHOT that damn dog".

"I sure did, Dad!" "I sure did!"

"That's my  boy!"