A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.  Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

       LAWYER:  "Have you any grounds?"
       POLE:  "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

       LAWYER:  "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
       POLE:  "It made of concrete."

       LAWYER:  "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
       POLE:  "No, we have carport, and not need one."

       LAWYER:  "I mean, what are your relations like?"
       POLE:  "All my relations still in Poland."

       LAWYER:  "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
       POLE:  "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

       LAWYER:  "Does your wife beat you up?"
       POLE:  "No, I always up before her."

       LAWYER:  "Is your wife a nagger?"
       POLE:  "No, she white."

       LAWYER:  "WHY do you want this divorce?"
       POLE:  "She going to kill me."

       LAWYER:  "What makes you think that?"
       POLE:  "I got proof."

       LAWYER:  "What kind of proof?"
       POLE:  "She going to poison me.
       She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
       I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."